System Anonymous

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Who are we

This system emerged about two years ago (at the time we're typing this). We will not get into specifics, but we emerged to protect our host. While we can speak separately as our own, we're choosing to speak as a collective for protective purposes. We all may act similar to our main host but we do have our own thoughts and feelings.You are perfectly fine to feel uncomfortable or doubtful but please do not openly accuse us of being fake. Fake claiming not only messed us up but it also makes it harder for other systems to be taken seriously or go public.If you'd like to know more about plural systems, here:Plurality Hub
More than One
Pluralpedia
Allies of Plurals - Guide for allies, helpers, and relatives
Finch Fam System Info

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Why we're anonymous

It's both for safety reasons and as a test. The body has several learning disabilities and we have come to learn that people do not like what they don't understand. We will not get into specifics but we have spent months detoxing and reflecting. We have made discoveries about ourselves and want to at least try and see if we can rebuild in a different community.To anyone that sees this and recognizes who we are, leave us alone.

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Disability disclaimer

Learning disabilities [Update 8/9/25]We are aware that strangers would not want a list of your mental disabilities/illness but this we feel these are important and will only write these down. Other disabilities you can message us about.Stunt growth - Turns out it was parents treating us like a helpless kid. Despite this, the body being 30+ years old, it is stuck in the mindset of a 15 year old but with progress, it can FINALLY grow. Telling us to 'grow up' does nothing but only makes it harder for ourselves. All we ask is to be patient and please stop putting labels/expectations of how an 'adult' should act. Besides adults seem to be getting more immature then actual children these days...Alexithymia - We cannot read social cues, our own tone, and certain expressions. Meaning we cannot tell if we're making you uncomfortable, talking over you/speaking loudly, saying something in a harsh tone, etc. With expressions, we can read exaggerated ones like in sitcoms, cartoons, etc, but real life? No, we're screwed. It is something we have struggled since we were a child and what got us in a lot of trouble. We want to be better and are searching for ways to cope with it. If anyone has any more knowledge that could help us, or know more info on it, please let us know!Edit 12/27/24: We feel so silly to learn that we need an official diagnose for Social-Emotional Agnosia, whoops. We will now refer to it as 'unable to read social cues' until further notice.Edit 6/30/25: We have discovered we may have Alexithymia, aka emotional blindness. A neuropsychological phenomenon characterized by significant challenges in recognizing, sourcing, and describing one's emotions. Here's a video explanation by Dr. Tracey MarksHigh Sensitivity - This is the biggest thing that made people feel like they can't come to us if we did something wrong. No matter how much we tell ourselves that what someone said wasn't an insult, a harsh criticism, or are in trouble, the body still responds by crying. We have been chastised for this more than once and deemed problematic for 'crumbling up' when we did something wrong. Believe us, we would LOVE to not cry over talking about something serious, being told hey that wasn't okay, or receiving feedback but it sadly happens. Even so, while we still ask that you be patient with us, please do tell us if we did something wrong. Despite us crying, we WILL do our best to follow through it, we just need a minute for the body to calm down. All we ask is for your patience and if you can't give us that then we will no longer interact with you for both our sakes.Auditory Processing - This means our brain legit runs on 'in one ear and out the other' despite us wanting to keep the info. We learn better by observing and hands on technique. Trying to teach us via words only makes it difficult.PTSD - Self explanatory. If we react aggressively, give us a minute to calm down.

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Do not

DO NOT TRY TO PERSUADE US ABOUT ENDOGENIC SYSTEMS BEING A "DANGER" TO THE COMMUNITY
We support Endogenic Systems. We find it very hypocritical for sysmeds to say they are a 'danger' to the community when we strongly believe neurotypicals already believe all systems are fake and/or 'made up'. We have experienced many invalidations, treated as if we 'made up' alters out of sheer will, etc. so why should we give that same treatment to endogenic systems?If you don't believe in them, then agree to disagree. All we are asking is to not shove it down our throats about how 'harmful' they are and if we say we don't care and don't want to be apart of syscourse, BACK OFF!That being said, if we find out you are a sysmed, you will be blocked without hesitation.We really don't like having to come to this decision, given what blocking has done to us, but after an incident with one, we are not taking any chances and never ever want to deal with a sysmed again. Please know this falls under "Do not get us into any discourse. Period." Keep us out of syscourse.DO NOT TELL US IT IS OKAY TO VENT
We still struggle breaking from this but still don't believe people mean it when they give you the okay. It's how we got into trouble and as of late have seen others get in trouble for it. None of us are trained professionals and while it's easy to say 'go see a therapist', we know in some places it's not easily accessible (especially to those who can't get insurance). So we recommend:- Use a diary/journal app.- If you're a system, vent/discuss it amongst each other in your private server and I mean YOUR private server.- If you are able to, *seek counseling/therapy. If the one you're seeing isn't working, try seeking another BUT only if you're able!! We know it is not easy.*We say this because we've had callous ex-friends tell us to change ours as if it is so easy when it is not! Sometimes, those who say they can't because they can't afford it, isn't always an excuse nor is them blowing you off! It can be very expensive and hard to find the right one.Venting in our opinion can actually be dangerous for both parties, particularly the one venting. You never know who's a friend or foe and if you're not careful, it can be used against you. Break away from it if you can and if you find yourself doing it, stop when you catch it. It's not something that can be done overnight but we believe it can be done.DO NOT PROVOKE OUR PERSECUTORS/PROSECUTORS
If they slip out, don't provoke them, curse them out, or just purposely piss them off. While we're still trying to work with them, they're not above from saying offensive slurs, and other things our host would never want to say to anyone. When they do something horrible, we apologize for we all take responsibility. Please don't assume they're evil despite their demeanor and let us deal with trying to help them. Just worry about yourself.We are aware this can be seen as villainizing, but when we tell you they get very pissed and/or offended if you even try to reason, it's like talking to brick walls so we work with what we can.DO NOT GET ANGRY AT US OVER AN ALTER
One thing we will admit about our system is that we are a heavily introject/factive and fictive system. We were outed and people believed we 'made' them out of spite or saw it as a 'yikes' because the alter looked either like them or an OC. That is NOT the case! We have no control when an alter emerges and sometimes it makes us panic when it looks like either or. Keep in mind that just because the alter either looks like you or your character, it does not mean it is one to one. It is absolutely okay to feel a little creeped out or uncomfortable but please do not assume it was done on purpose.DO NOT COMPARE YOUR DISABILITIES TO OURS
Whether if it's depression, Autism, systems, etc, please do not compare it. It has happened to us several times (ex. I have Autism and I'm not like that!). Everyone's brains work differently. Just because someone isn't showing the 'correct' symptoms by the book, doesn't mean it's wrong, fake, etc. It's very hurtful to invalidate one's experience. We are not exempt of this and had to learn that the very hard way.DO NOT ACCUSE US OF BEING FAKE
This was already mentioned but seriously, we were fakeclaimed by a former friend who compared their experience to a relative who has DID and wanted us to admit we were fake. It really messed with our heads and had our main host doubt themself for they'd tend to wonder from time to time if they are due to certain things not 'lining up' with other systems. Even when we slip an "I" when it's "We" statements, it makes us all doubt ourselves but sometimes that's okay. We do not know everything about systems and sometimes we're still learning about ourselves and about things we didn't know about before. So please do not assume we are fake. That is all we ask.PLEASE BE RESPECTFUL TOWARDS OUR FICTIVES
Lately some of the fictives have wanted to participate but if we do, please do not treat them like they are the actual source. Just because some may behave like them, doesn't mean they are one to one. Separate them from their source as best as you can. Remember, if you're allowed to feel uncomfortable, they're just as valid to feel uncomfortable too.PLEASE BE PATIENT WHEN IT COMES TO MISCOMMUNICATIONS
Most of the time, we misunderstand the things folks are saying or don't hear what was said. This falls into being unable to read social cues for we cannot read tones, certain jokes tend to go over our head and we are wound pretty tight. If you have a monotone voice and tend to joke, please tell us! The last thing we want is to unintentionally hurt someone, especially more than once because we were led to believe it was okay or didn't say anything.Adding to that, unfortunately we do react strongly if we think we did something wrong, giving the impression that people can't tell us anything to us due to 'crumpling up'. Please give us a moment and some time to calm down, because we assure you, once we do, we can think clearly and discuss whatever the issue is.DO NOT RUSH US TO HURRY UP AND PROCESS THINGS
We have learned about this very recently and while it is still a hard habit to break, we need to have time to think and process an event that happened, whether it was caused by us or someone else, mostly the former.This is due to when it comes to apologies, because we get into a panic and feel this pressure that we have to apologize right this second, and chances are it will come off as insincere or not serious. Our brain needs time, even if it takes a week or a month, we cannot tell you how many times we'd have an incident hit us hard with epiphanies but it would be too late to apologize after the fact because the apology was already made.We know it may come off as unresolved but, we would rather have that then rush an apology without having it sit for a bit and coming off as fake.DO NOT CHASTISE US FOR HAVING SEVERE SOCIAL ANXIETY
It does not matter if you are super blunt, super sweet, average, or any sort of behavior, our main host has severe social anxiety and hates confrontation, mostly with one on one conversations. That gets projected to us no matter how much we try to help them. Regardless, do not push nor question why we're scared to talk to a certain person.DO NOT GET US INTO ANY DISCOURSE. PERIOD.
Again, this is what got us into trouble. Sharing 'tea', to venting, to gossip then piling on with callouts. We want none of that. All of this is like a drug and brings out the worst in people and we don't want to be pulled back into it again.THIS INCLUDES SYSCOURSE!! WE WANT NONE OF IT!!If we get sucker punched and dragged into one without our knowledge whatsoever, or a situation is blown out of proportion we will go into isolation for however long we need. Anything to keep our Main host safe.IF BOUNDARIES ARE REPEATEDLY CROSSED, WE WILL GET AGGRESSIVE
We'd usually be led to believe we were the bad guys for being aggressive when in reality, we were because of our boundaries being crossed numerous times. We are protectors and avengers for a reason, and we will protect our main host if they are in danger.More will be added if we think of anything

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We are always co-consciousWe don't know why and always has us doubting ourselves of being real, especially after being fake claimed. We don't have amnesia but there are times where we would feel disconnected and wouldn't remember certain events. We're still sorting ourselves out and discovering things about ourselves every day.As stated earlier, we are a factive and fictive heavy system. We try our best to stay away from other artists' work for we fear of developing a fictive because we know of the usual aggressive reactions when discovered. Changing one's look varies on the alter, or as we say, 'when the brain decides'.Sometimes we can change our look instantly, sometimes it takes either days, months, or years. We at least try to alter our looks to differentiate from our sources but we know it's not enough for many.We may be open about our system, however, as of recent, we will hide certain fictives/factives from others unless we are comfortable, and feel safe. It's mostly about trust and if that trust is broken where we're treated as if we had control of the alter and 'should've let them know' about it, we no longer feel safe and cut them off. PTSD is a big factor to that, and we're working on that. We understand it may not feel right to see a system that has a fictive of an OC and believe us, we freak out when a fictive of someone else's character appears. If we tell someone, most of the time, it's not good. If we don't tell someone and they find out, it's not good. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.We have to look out for ourselves and will do whatever it takes to protect ourselves from getting hurt further, even if it means losing more friends and/or hurting our reputation. We know who we are, we know how our mind works and we know not everyone is going to understand that, and that's okay. Even if it hurts.